Helen Law (sharing thoughts) Consistently praising the good behaviour of children will raise their self-esteem and boost self confidence. The children will learn that they can receive attention from adults and will be motivated to behave appropriately. For this strategy to succeed effectively, you need to ‘catch' them being good. And praise your children at every opportunity. Remember that praise must be specific, your children must understand why they are being praised. Explain to them the reason that you are pleased. Children are different than they were ten years ago and parents are at a loss as to how to deal with them. Most parents use the same “traditional” parenting techniques on their children, they learned from their parents and they are not working very effectively. Successful parenting today requires a paradigm shift. Children can be quite a handful and as much as we want them to grow up to be well mannered, good and kind, there are times when their behavior shows otherwise. The earlier we deal with bad behavior, the better. Children who experience quality time with parents do not need to act out to get their attention. It is important as parents, to be aware of the best way to handle any behaviour problem which your children may display. There are a variety of strategies which may or may not work depending on your children's personalities and behaviour. All children are individuals and therefore, it is important to consider carefully which strategy is most appropriate and works best for your own children. Here are some proven ways to change child behaviour: Positive Role Models Children learn by copying those around them. Do not expose your children to violence on television. Encourage shows which are conducive to learning positive values. Do what you can to become a positive role model for example, avoid raising your voice, yelling, hitting, or shouting angrily in front of your children. No matter how often your children drive you crazy. Remember to keep your cool, hug your children and tell them often you love them. A key to successful parenting is to have a happy marriage in which your children can use as a model for their future relationships. Children flourish when they are raised in homes with happy, balanced parents. Show Compassion One of the effective ways to change your children's behaviour is to call your children out when they are caught in the act. Instead of reprimanding them, show compassion. Tell them what they did was wrong and why it was wrong. You might think your children are too young to understand, but children today show a remarkable understanding of life, and it is up to you to lead them in the right direction. The more you notice and praise them for what you like about their behaviour, the more you will inspire your children to repeat their good behaviours. Praise For Good Behaviour Children learn by observing. When your children observe you using good manners and respecting others then more likely they will copy your behavior. You can also motivate your children's behaviour by reading stories that encourage good behaviour. When you are watching television always point out the characters who are behaving good. When your children use good manners, praise them and let them know how proud you are of them. Reward them when their behavior is good, never reward bad behaviour. Reward For Good Behavior When your children show good behaviour, you may reward them with your choice of prize on occasions. But don't overdo it or they might only get motivated to behave because of the rewards and not because it is the right thing to do. Praise them for what they have done and if they have helped you out in your work, say ‘thank you'. A simple thanks can also works wonders. • Give your children rewards that would help them in developing their hobbies. • A picnic outing will also excite and motivate children to behave well. • Children who like gardening can be awarded some seeds for them to grow. • Give your children inexpensive creative gifts, like baking cup cakes for them. • You can also award your children with their favorite story books. • Offer children random awards so as to keep them motivated. Managing Emotions It is important for your children to learn how to manage their emotions appropriately as they matures. Children need to learn that just because they feel angry, it does not give them the right to hurt others. One of the most effective ways to learn self-control is to learn that choices have consequence. Most success in life depends on making wise choices. Being able to think ahead about the positive or negative consequences of an action and choose accordingly is a skill your children need to learn. Providing explanations for appropriate behavior helps your children learn kind and respectful behavior. Guerilla Parenting Techniques MaryLynne White, creator of the world’s first game called 'The Parent Survival Game' teaches parents how to gain control over their children. She has combined scientific findings in brain research and child development principles to show parents how to change anger and chaos into peace and harmony. Showing parents how to take back control of their children using guerilla parenting techniques for the 21st century. Through her work with families, children become more respectful, responsible, behave better and fun to be around. Guerilla parenting techniques do not involve giving severe consequences. Just like in guerilla warfare, it is always a great thing to respond to your children in ways totally different than what they expect. It catches them off guard and they start to watch and listen to you better. Sometimes, you come in quietly, interact with them in new and unexpected ways, and then retreat quickly without a word. The less you say the better. You provide natural consequences instead of punishment; you make the consequence fit the crime. In guerilla parenting techniques parents use natural consequences for misbehavior instead of punishment, so your children have to look at how they created their predicaments instead of getting angry at you for punishing them. If your child is fighting a sibling, then an effective way of dealing with this is to get him or her to do the sibling's chores. The fact that your child now has to reflect and actually take the consequences makes a much greater impact on his or her misbehaviour. Guerilla parenting techniques work better with children in dealing with negative behaviors. This simple strategies help parents to see your children’s behaviors through new eyes. Using new parenting techniques that completely catch them off guard, making it easier to get your children to do what you desire. To your parenting success Your Guide to Holistic Childhood Education- Holistic Living Wellness for Your FamiliesN0. 11 Jalan H1, Taman Melawati, 53100 Kuala Lumpur Contact: 603-41054382 |