Helen Law (sharing thoughts)

Effective parenting is a lifetime ongoing process that requires consistency, problem solving skills and a willingness to learn on the part of the parent and child, that  can lead to a happier family life.

Most of us learn our parenting skills from the way we were raised by our parents. We all want to be good parents and we want the best for our children.

Parenting is an important part of creating a loving, nurturing, and safe environment for our children, helping them  to learn the rules of life (kindness,respect, share, responsible etc.) and to develop positive self-esteem as they grow from infancy right through to their teenage years .

As parents, we need different skills for each stage, but at all times our children will depend on us to help them to grow into happy, healthy adults.

Raising happy, healthy children are the most fulfilling and rewarding experiences in life but also one of the toughest. Even the most conscientious parent can feel overwhelmed when faced with unexpected challenges.  

Being a parent means making adjustments to one's lifestyle, budget, making sacrifices and putting the welfare of the children first. There is no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect child.

Making mistakes is part of parenting, but we have to learn from them to become better  parents.  Experience is the best teacher when it comes to parenting.

Effective parenting evolves spending time with our children, loving, chatting and playing with them. At times, we may have to stop them from doing things they shouldn't be doing, but it is just as important to encourage them to do the things we want them to do.

We  are  responsible for their welfare as well as the healthy growth and development of our children. We must impart morals values to our children such as good manners, respect, responsible, honest, hard-working, kindness and self-disciplined. 

Teaching children discipline is necessary in every household. The goal of discipline is to help our children choose acceptable behaviors, learn self-control and grow into responsible adults.

The first step to effective parenting is to establish rules.  Rules are an important part of everyday life. Without rules, children can simply get into the habit of behaving badly.

Children need firm boundaries that come from clear and consistent parental discipline.  Disciplining children must be consistent and fair, we have to communicate openly with them, offer explanations. 

If we look into the   needs of our children, we will find fewer problems with them as they mature. Helping children learn the rules of life, is the key in preventing school and youth violence.

When we teach our children values such as love and forgiveness, good from bad, correct them every time they do something wrong, we would have helped to make our world a better place.

Parenting has never been more important to the family’s success than today. There is no responsibility greater than that of being a parent, we  must be firm yet loving, protective yet liberating. 

Our children learn a lot about how to act by watching us. We must model the traits, we wish to cultivate in our children: respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, tolerance etc. Effective parenting is a skill that is learned over time.

We all learn from the mistakes we make and set guidelines to be the best parent we can be. Research has shown that parents who spend quality and quantity time with their children,  have children who have higher levels of moral development.  

Being a successful parent is all about doing what is right for your children. Here are some guidelines for effective parenting skills:

Respect Each Other

Our children'  first classroom is the home, where they take their first lessons in life. When  parents speak and  behave respectfully towards each other, children learn the importance of respecting others.

Children will feel happy and secure, growing up in a respectful household. Parents need to respect your children and require respect in return. This is a life lesson that will stay with them throughout their lives. 

Be A Role Model

Parents’ main goal is to set positive example. Spend valuable time with your family that includes fun activities. Be aware that everything you do, your children see and follow.

Take care to assure your children that you think that what they say is important. Good family relationships protect your children from violence and many other risky behaviors.

Show Love and Concern

Show love and affection to your children daily with a hug, a kiss, or a touch. Talking and listening to your children is very  important. Make time for special family day. It is wise to meet your children' friends to ensure they have positive influences.

Make Time to Listen, Take Time to Talk

Your children are surrounded by bad examples. So take time to listen, talk, read and make time to share this with your children...these are precious moments. Give your children the benefit of positive communication and they will be more likely to talk to you in good times and bad.

Help Children Learn to Think

Parents teach your children to think and speak out for themselves. Instill self-confidence in your children.  Help your children establish good social skills. Teach your children to seek, help if being harassed.  

If your child hit someone, always asked, 'How would you feel if someone did that to you?' This  give your child a chance to reflect on whatever he /she did and put himself / herself in the other person's shoes.

Stick To A Routine

Young children benefit from having a daily routine, it enhances their sense of security in their home life which is crucial. Allow them to grow and develop naturally without having the added concern of the scenery changing constantly at home.

Help Children Take on Responsibilities

The best way to encourage your children to become responsible is be responsible yourself. Children need to see your own self-control, courage, and honesty. Have your children take responsibility for their own homework, complete chores around the house, or take care of a younger sister or brother, or pets  etc.

Balance Independence and Control

Children need limits with independence, roots, and wings. Finding the balance can be tricky. Too much parental control can lead children to rebel. Too much freedom leads to children having too much power before they are ready for it.

Involve Children in Family Trips

Plan vacations and trips together when possible. Allow your children to contribute their ideas for your times together. Make a habit of giving the children something to look forward to with the family. 

Support Each Other

It is important that both parents discuss and agree upon any disciplinary measures or house rules before imposing them on the children. If you do not do this then the children get mixed messages around what is expected of them behaviourally, and that confusion will lead to them misbehaving as a result.

Effective Praising 

Make a conscious effort to identify and compliment your children for their good qualities. Let them know when they have done something well or behave well, give them a hug or a kiss and tell them you are proud and pleased with them.  

Praise is a method of keeping focus on the positive of any situation. Praising your children will encourage them to do well at whatever task they are faced with doing. 

Together As A Family

Our hectic lifestyle leave us with little time to relax together. This can lead to isolation from each other, and as our children grow up, they develop interests outside the family home, with friends and school, the gap between parents and children grow wider.

No matter how busy you are, or how tired you may be; there is no reason to deny your children of your daily time. Sitting  and eating together for meals as a family encourage good table manners and a strong sense of belonging which your children will take with them through life. 

To your parenting success  

Your Guide to Holistic Childhood Education- Holistic Living Wellness for Your Families

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